Getting off on the Right Foot
The Art of Starting a Conversation
by Lillian D. Bjorseth, President
Duoforce Enterprises, Inc.
Almost all of us have been there. We meet a new person, we run into someone we have met once or we see someone we’ve spoken with numerous times. We want to start a meaningful conversation for myriad reasons; yet, we find ourselves asking those trite questions:
And, just for good measure, we throw in a few “hmms” and “ahs” to make us appear even less confident.
Getting off on the right foot
Here are hints to help you feel at ease, make others comfortable, ensure you are memorable after the event and gain helpful information as well.
Establish your purpose for attending event.
In any case, prepare your “ask for” questions and “listen for” answers so you are prepared to hold stimulating conversations while simultaneously enhancing your knowledge base.
Prepare your Verbal Business Card.
Be ready to share with others in one or two sentences what you do … not how you do it or who you are. These logically follow. You want to intrigue people to talk with you while informing them about what you do that will benefit them or people they know. Keep it simple because while people are listening to you, they are also assessing your appearance and behavior, trying to remember your name and planning what they will say. Think of it as the front end of your elevator pitch.
Always include your first and last name (even your friends have memory lapses!), what you do, benefits to others and active verbs, the most powerful words in the English language. In general, omit your company name (unless it is really well known), your company location, titles, business labels and go easy on adjectives and adverbs. You’ll want to tailor the above information when you are with people from your company or in the same industry. They will understand and even expect jargon.
One of mine is:
“I’m Lillian Bjorseth, and I help you build a new kind of wealth – social capital – by improving your communication and networking skills.”
Remember introduction basics.
Even though you learned this in elementary school, you might need a refresher:
In other words, say the name of the person who is older, the woman and the VIP first. You deserve to be addressed as you want to be; however, you must let people know your preference so they can start the conversation correctly. If your printed nametag says “Robert,” and you prefer, “Bob,” it’s fine to cross through the name and print “Bob” on it. Use a felt tip pen so people can easily read it.
Weave newcomers into the conversation.
Ask open-ended questions.
The best way to avoid those one-word answers that make you feel as if your attempts at conversation have been thwarted is to not ask “yes” and “no” questions. Or, if you start off with one, have two or three open-ended questions or statements in your pocket at all times. Those one-word answers are sure to get you perspiring if you are the kind who already doesn’t like to start conversations.
Listen, listen, listen.
It’s the number one human relations skill and tells people whom you are speaking with how much you care … even more than the words you use. Then respond to what the person said rather than what you wish s/he would have said. Eventually you, too, will get time in the spotlight … if the other person is also a great communicator.
lillianspeaks@duoforce.com, www.duoforce.com, 630-983-5308